I am usually pretty upbeat and sunny, but lately I have been so negative. I find myself getting annoyed very easily or just feeling incredibly down. I don't want to blame pregnancy because honestly I have had a wonderful pregnancy so far. I am so grateful for how great I feel physically. Emotionally is another story. I have really been struggling with the way I look. I don't like calling myself superficial but maybe that's what it is. I feel like I used to be pretty cute and stylish with nice hair and cute clothes and fun makeup. Lately I feel frumpy, pasty, and so sadly out of style, that its hard for me to look in the mirror.
I don't want to have these feelings and I try really hard to accentuate the positive and look for the good but I have never felt so hideous in all my life. I feel like a huge part of it is I don't feel like I have the energy or the means to make it better. Obviously there is nothing I can do about my largeness right now. I am pregnant and carrying a tiny darling human being around inside of me. Its hard to feel cute when you are bigger than you've ever been in your life and are bound to just get bigger. I know there is hope after our little boy gets here but how on earth do you stay positive while going through the process? I want tips and possibly a pep talk. Or maybe what I really need is a swift kick in the butt!
I was reading a friends blog the other day and she was listing the simple pleasures in life. The little things that make her happy. Maybe that's all I need to do. Just shift my perspective on life and realize how unimportant being stylish and having nice hair really is and focus on what I do have and what makes me happy.
I love that I have a husband who makes me laugh. Even when I am feeling rotten he always manages to make me smile.
I love that I live so close to my sister and I get to see her often.
I love feeling baby bacon move inside of me.
Ice cream makes me happy.
I love TLC.
I love my snuggie.
I love my smiths rosebud salve.
I love serving in the YW's.
I love reading a good book.
Spring is one of my favorite times of year. Even when its raining ;)
I love 30 rock, but mostly Tina Fey.
I love having lunch with friends.
I love my bed and cozy pillows.
I love drinking a big glass of milk. It makes me think of my mom and smile.
I love making other people feel good.
I love Sonics happy hour.
Warm bread in any form can pretty much turn a bad day into a delightful one.
I love taking bubble baths.
Getting a pedicure is a tiny piece of heaven.
I already feel better after making this short list. There are hundreds more I could mention. I am so thankful to be alive and healthy. I am thankful for the many opportunities I have been given and the many blessings my Father in heaven has given me. I have so much to be thankful for including a wonderful support system of family and friends. Instead of feeling sorry for myself and letting Satan eat away at my self esteem I think I will focus on the many talents and traits that I have been given. It doesn't matter if I am roughly the size of a barge or if my teeth aren't perfectly white and straight. What does matter is that I have the gospel in my life and a wonderful husband and fabulous friends. Ok so no more pity party for this lady! Bring on the sunshine and happy thoughts!!!!
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
I am officially in my 3rd Trimester!!!! I am 28 weeks and feel massive and cannot believe I am going to get bigger. I feel so good and feel so lucky that my pregnancy so far has been complication free. Baby Bacon is still as mobile as ever. He especially loves to move right after I eat anything sugary.
I have gotten some pretty random comments from strangers. Some comments are really nice. Some not so nice, but without fail people always ask me these 3 questions:
1. When are you due?
2. What are you having?
3. Do you have a name?
I can answer the first two with out any hesitation, but the third is becoming a thorn in my side. No we do not have a name. We don't even have a list of possible names. At first it drove me crazy, then I just didn't care, and now I am so sick of not having an answer for the third question that I get cranky anytime someone asks what we are going to name him.
I have names that I like but Casey doesn't like any of them. Casey hasn't been able to give me any serious suggestions. Just funny names like Chort and Thor. Sorry but we are not naming our baby Chort. I am begging all of my blogging friends to help me out and send me some name ideas. I like more traditional names like: Charlie, William, James, Henry.... Keep in mind the last name Bacon. It's not the easiest last name to coordinate with ;) Thanks in advance to all of your brilliant ideas and suggestions.
Friday, March 11, 2011
1 1/2 years
1 1/2 years
Lately I have been having some pretty vivid and crazy dreams about our baby. In some of my dreams he is down right creepy looking and he can walk and talk as a newborn. Some of these dreams make me laugh and some make me want to cry but all of them have got me thinking about this little guy! I think its only natural to wonder what your kids are going to look like. Its fun to think of the features they might have from one or both parents. Honestly I don't know what Baby Bacon will look like, but I do know I will love him no matter what and all that really matters to me is that he is healthy and has all of his bits and pieces and that they work properly.
I went through a bunch of our baby pictures today and thought I might post them for you all to see. Enjoy us and all of our tiny darlingness ;)