I am usually pretty upbeat and sunny, but lately I have been so negative. I find myself getting annoyed very easily or just feeling incredibly down. I don't want to blame pregnancy because honestly I have had a wonderful pregnancy so far. I am so grateful for how great I feel physically. Emotionally is another story. I have really been struggling with the way I look. I don't like calling myself superficial but maybe that's what it is. I feel like I used to be pretty cute and stylish with nice hair and cute clothes and fun makeup. Lately I feel frumpy, pasty, and so sadly out of style, that its hard for me to look in the mirror.
I don't want to have these feelings and I try really hard to accentuate the positive and look for the good but I have never felt so hideous in all my life. I feel like a huge part of it is I don't feel like I have the energy or the means to make it better. Obviously there is nothing I can do about my largeness right now. I am pregnant and carrying a tiny darling human being around inside of me. Its hard to feel cute when you are bigger than you've ever been in your life and are bound to just get bigger. I know there is hope after our little boy gets here but how on earth do you stay positive while going through the process? I want tips and possibly a pep talk. Or maybe what I really need is a swift kick in the butt!
I was reading a friends blog the other day and she was listing the simple pleasures in life. The little things that make her happy. Maybe that's all I need to do. Just shift my perspective on life and realize how unimportant being stylish and having nice hair really is and focus on what I do have and what makes me happy.
I love that I have a husband who makes me laugh. Even when I am feeling rotten he always manages to make me smile.
I love that I live so close to my sister and I get to see her often.
I love feeling baby bacon move inside of me.
Ice cream makes me happy.
I love TLC.
I love my snuggie.
I love my smiths rosebud salve.
I love serving in the YW's.
I love reading a good book.
Spring is one of my favorite times of year. Even when its raining ;)
I love 30 rock, but mostly Tina Fey.
I love having lunch with friends.
I love my bed and cozy pillows.
I love drinking a big glass of milk. It makes me think of my mom and smile.
I love making other people feel good.
I love Sonics happy hour.
Warm bread in any form can pretty much turn a bad day into a delightful one.
I love taking bubble baths.
Getting a pedicure is a tiny piece of heaven.
I already feel better after making this short list. There are hundreds more I could mention. I am so thankful to be alive and healthy. I am thankful for the many opportunities I have been given and the many blessings my Father in heaven has given me. I have so much to be thankful for including a wonderful support system of family and friends. Instead of feeling sorry for myself and letting Satan eat away at my self esteem I think I will focus on the many talents and traits that I have been given. It doesn't matter if I am roughly the size of a barge or if my teeth aren't perfectly white and straight. What does matter is that I have the gospel in my life and a wonderful husband and fabulous friends. Ok so no more pity party for this lady! Bring on the sunshine and happy thoughts!!!!
Little E
So In Love
About Me
- Stacey Bacon
- I am the happy wife of wonderful Casey Bacon. I work hard flying around the country as a flight attendant. I love fashion and cooking. I am addicted to TLC and HGTV and am a sucker for a good book. I really love coming up with new recipes and am currently obsessed with cupcakes!
3 comments:
love the post. here's my advise (you asked, right?)
you are pregnant. theres nothing you can do about it now. just eat. eat whatever you want. i gained 60 lbs with my last baby. then, just do the hcg diet when you are done nursing. works wonders.
second of all, you are ALWAYS hot. there are some people that just are. you are one of them. no matter what size, hair color, outfit. you just always are attractive.
last, i never knew your mom, but the milk thing brought tears to my eyes... oh, here they come again. <3
Great post. Healthy and cathartic and...well, what else are these blogs for if not for being honest and saying the things that at times we all feel.
Ditto on what Julie said. You are classy and beautiful. All.the.time. Always have been. It's just who you are.
You are going to be the best mother. How exciting to meet that special little boy who will have just left your mom and dad's arms. What a lucky little guy.
So i don't have much advice about dealing with the feelings of unattractiveness during, but my favorite thing was that afterwards i felt SO skinny and cute. Way skinnier and cuter than i have ever felt before. Even though i really wasn't, just the difference made me feel like i was some incredibly hot mama. :) So look forward to that! It took a few weeks before the weight started going away, but weeks 3-8 were like the best weeks ever!! I would check myself out in the mirror every morning and love it. :)
unfortunately the stylish thing continues to be hard as you start associating more and more with babies and spit up and sweat pants and see less stylish people...I stress out over it now especially when i hang out with people without kids who still are involved with the real world and fashionable life...but you excel in this area always so it probably won't be an issue. :)
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